![I’ve done gallons of idiotic things. Once I built a bonfire on a suburban sidewalk in broad daylight. I dated the daughter of a guy who thought that AIDS was something you caught from “a gay” sneezing on you. I tattooed an enormous spark plug on my forearm. I even voted for Ralph Nader, but that’s what cocaine will do to you. Fortunately, I’ve never done anything as stupid as attending a Widespread Panic show. I’m not about to slip into the idiot abyss now. If I want the delicate bones in my eardrums to go slushy, I’ll pour hydrogen fluoride into them, thank you.
Instead, I went to the roller rink and found a large dude named Charles who wore puffy brown jeans and a permanent sneer. I called him a bitch.
The doctors say I’m lucky the scars are in places I can conceal with clothing.
[poster design: Chris Bilheimer, via this place]](http://5.media.tumblr.com/azxD5kcjlfeblnsyczzMUsyco1_400.jpg)
I’ve done gallons of idiotic things. Once I built a bonfire on a suburban sidewalk in broad daylight. I dated the daughter of a guy who thought that AIDS was something you caught from “a gay” sneezing on you. I tattooed an enormous spark plug on my forearm. I even voted for Ralph Nader, but that’s what cocaine will do to you. Fortunately, I’ve never done anything as stupid as attending a Widespread Panic show. I’m not about to slip into the idiot abyss now. If I want the delicate bones in my eardrums to go slushy, I’ll pour hydrogen fluoride into them, thank you.
Instead, I went to the roller rink and found a large dude named Charles who wore puffy brown jeans and a permanent sneer. I called him a bitch.
The doctors say I’m lucky the scars are in places I can conceal with clothing.
[poster design: Chris Bilheimer, via this place]
